Back then
by ER-Freaky
Summary: This story takes place somewhere in the future. Castle talks about his memories of the past to someone very important to him. It will be a little fluffy sometimes. Chapter 4 is done, this time it's Kate who has to talk about something from the past.
1. Chapter 1

I haven't written anything in at least five years. And I wasn't really planning to but I had this idea so I didn't have much of a choice.

English is not my first language but I tried my best. If I made to many mistakes feel free to let me know and I will stop. If someone is interested in doing the beta reading for me please let me know :)

About this story: I had this idea after the last episode (S03E04). This story takes place somewhere in the future. Castle talks about his memories of the past to someone very important to him. It will be a little fluffy sometimes.

Enjoy XD

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**Back then**

Chapter One

Richard Castle woke up at night. It took his eyes several moments to adjust to the darkness. When he could see enough in the dark he looked around to see the woman he loved sleeping next to him. He didn't notice when she came home hours before. There were days when she had to work late and even if he asked her every time to wake him up when she's coming home, she never did. She was always quiet and sneaked into bed beside him.

Castle looked over at the alarm clock beside her side of the bed. There wasn't an alarm set. And this means they could sleep in in the morning.

A little snore escaped her mouth. It was something new to Castle. Most nights it woke him up and he was sure it was the reason he was awake now. She never snored before and if he'd tell her in the morning, she'd deny it and tell him he was making it up to annoy her.

Softly he removed the sheet from her body, careful not to wake her up. He crawled down the bed some inches and raised her top a little bit.

"Hey there, little Peanut. " he whispered to her stomach.

"Did you make mommy snore again? Don't you worry I won't hold it against you because it's really cute. But don't tell her I said that."

Castle looked up at the sleeping woman. He couldn't hide the smile on his face when he looked back at her still flat stomach.

"I'm really impatient to finally meet you. I'm pretty sure you'll be beautiful just like your mommy."

He looked up at again and kept speaking softly to her stomach.

"If I had a time machine I would meet you right now." He couldn't hide his smile at his next thought. "I'm sure you're rolling your eyes right now, aren't you, Peanut?"

"There was this case once and I was pretty sure there was a time traveling killer. I was wrong at the time, but it could have been possible. You should ask Alexis, I told her everything about it back then. I believe that was around the same time Alexis fell in love for the first time. She will probably tell you all about it when you're old enough. I hope she will wait till you're old enough for that. If you ask me, you'll be old enough in around 25 years. "

"Do you want to know a little bit more about the case with…"

"Castle? What are you doing?"

He looked up into two tired eyes watching him.

"Nothing."

He yawned while he let her top down again and crawled back up in bed so he laid face to face with her again.

"You were talking to my stomach again, weren't you?"

"No." He tried his best innocent smile, not sure if she would see it in the darkness.

"The baby can't hear you anyway. It's way to small right now."

"Oh come on, you don't talk to Peanut at all?"

He noticed the smile on her face when he named their baby. Castle knew without a doubt that she loved their baby with her whole heart. She was just a little afraid to get attached this early. In her family was history with miscarriage at an early stage of the pregnancy.

They had their first doctor appointment just four days ago and even if the doctor told her everything looked perfect so far, she couldn't ignore the fact that there was a chance that something could happen because she wasn't twenty anymore.

"Go back to sleep. I just came home two hours ago and I'm really tired. And I can't sleep with you talking all night."

"Did you at least get all your paperwork done?"

She nodded and smiled. "Yes and this means I get tomorrow off. Now go back to sleep."

She turned around. Castle took this chance to cuddle closer. He gave her a kiss on her cheek while he spooned her. "I love you, Kate. Good Night."

She was almost back to sleep. Her response was only a mumbling "Luvyoutoo."

He cuddled as close as he could and put his arm around her on her stomach. Richard Castle couldn't hide his smile when he noticed her hand on her stomach as well. He cupped it and closed his eyes.

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Thanx for reading.  
Please let me know what you think about it.

XD


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for your lovely reviews and for adding my story to your favorite stories lists.

It was a lot more than I expected when I started this. So I decided to write another chapter earlier than I planned. I hope you'll like it.

And a big Thank you to TappinCastlefan for reading beta. :)

Enjoy! XD

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Chapter Two

_(some weeks later)_

Richard Castle couldn't sleep anymore. The sun was already up and created a chink of light behind the curtains. The woman beside him was still asleep. She lay on her side facing him, a peaceful smile on her lips.

Going back to sleep would be impossible for him. But he didn't want to get up and start his day either. He knew he should be writing. He was late again with his book, which was due next month.

Castle looked at her alarm clock at the bedside table. It was still over an hour until she had to get up. And he wanted her to have as much sleep as possible. Kate was a lot more tired than usual. She tried to hide it, especially at the precinct since no one knew about the pregnancy so far.

A snore drew Castle attention back to her face. She was still sleeping and a smile was on her face. He loved the snoring. It was the cutest noise he had ever heard.

He looked at her stomach and carefully lifted the sheets.

"Hey there Peanut. Does the snore mean you are awake too?" He whispered softly so Kate would not wake up with him talking to the baby again.

"We have to be really quiet. Mommy will be grumpy when we wake her. She really needs her sleep so you can grow and be a healthy little baby in a few months."

"Now that we are both awake, what do you think about a story? Do you know your mommy can speak Russian? We had this case once where I was undercover with some mafiosos. That's cool, right? I was playing Poker with these men, and I tell you I was so good that I won. I promise, when you are diaper free I will show you all of my Poker tricks. And mommy can teach you how to speak Russian."

He laughed at his own idea. Castle had tried to speak in Russian, but failed miserably: "You will rock this world, Peanut."

A look up to Kate told him that she was still asleep. He tried to be as quiet as possible as he spoke again.

"The police would have never solved this case if I hadn't helped. I'm still at the precinct sometimes to help them with a case. Mommy doesn't say this very often but I can be very useful. She doesn't have to say it every time, I can see it. And when you're older I will show you how you get her to roll her eyes at you because that is something that I love about her."

A ringing sound appeared in their bedroom and Kate woke up. With her vision still fuzzy she turned around and tried to grab her cellphone. After several seconds she got it and took the phone.

"Beckett." Her voice was still tired. Castle would have known exactly that she just wake up but she could hide it from the caller.

"Yeah… Hmmm … Yes. … Okay, talk to Lanie and I'll be right there." She hung up and turned back around.

"You have to go?"

Her eyes were closed again as she nodded.

Castle leaned in and gave her a soft kiss to her lips. "Good morning."

This made her smile and she opened her eyes slowly only to see his blue ones shining back at her. That was something she loved a lot. It never mattered how tired she was or how bad a day has been, a look into his eyes made up for a lot of things.

"Good morning. I'm sorry you're awake too. Ryan and Esposito are already at the precinct and I told them to call me anytime if they have something new."

"No worries, I was awake anyway." He smirked and leaned over again to give her another kiss. Then he left the bed. "Go get showered and I'll make you some breakfast."

While Kate took her shower Castle made her some breakfast to go. He knew by now that she wouldn't have enough time to eat at home. With the baby it was now even more important to eat breakfast. So he learned pretty fast just to make her something for her way to work.

When she was done, she came into the kitchen. She looked perfectly professional and not pregnant. Castle gave her the bag with food.

"I could come and help with the case. You know I have really useful insights sometimes."

"No. You know you should be writing. Your publisher won't be very happy if you are late again. And this time it won't be my fault." She tried to hide her grin.

"Ah, she's cool. She knows I have other things to worry about."

Kate's eyes grew wide. "Did you tell her about the baby? We decided to wait before telling everyone."

"No I didn't tell her directly. I just might have mentioned that I won't have time for the next book or publishing tours through the country next year because of the b…" he stopped when he realized that he revealed to much. He tried to smile innocently. When he was lucky it helped to calm Kate a little bit. "Sorry," he added rueful, "Lisa says congratulations by the way."

Kate could only shake her head and roll her eyes. She wasn't mad because he told someone. It was cute that he wanted to be there for the baby when it was time. She loved him even more knowing this fact. And she didn't mind so much because she liked his publisher, she became a friend very quickly.

He didn't know that she also told someone about the baby. There was no way she could have hidden it from Lanie. She didn't know how her friend did that, but she knew Kate was pregnant right after they found out themselves. Maybe it was because she had a medical education or it was because she couldn't stop to smiling for days or to say it with Castle's words: "she couldn't stop glowing."

"Alright, you will write today and I will try to solve my case."

"But,…"

"No back talk!"

"I just wanted to say … don't forget to eat."

She smiled and put her arms around his neck. "I won't, I promise."

His arms came around her waist while they kissed. They enjoyed their embrace for some more seconds before she pulled away. "I have to go. See you tonight." And then she left for work.

Castle wasn't really in the mood for writing today but he had to finish his book. He promised Lisa to be on time this time. He was sitting in his office all day, his legs on the table and his laptop on his legs. He wrote something but he wasn't really happy with it. It just wasn't right.

He had the feeling something was off today. He couldn't concentrate enough.

It was early afternoon when his phone rang. Caller ID told him it was Esposito. Castle knew he never called during a case if this wasn't important. And there was just one important thing that came to his mind why Esposito could call him: Kate.

He took the phone. "Is something wrong?"

His heart rate was faster than usual. He could feel his heart beat speed up with every more second that passed.

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You didn't think Gina would still be his publisher, did you? LOL

For the next chapter I have to wait for the new episode. I try to have it done by Wednesday.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all who are interested in my story. Big Thanks again to TappinCastlefan for checking my english skills. :)

Enjoy XD

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**Chapter Three**

"Listen, the first thing i should say is that you are not allowed to be worried."

Castle nodded forgetting for a moment that Esposito couldn't see him.

After a short pause the Detective spoke again. "We tried to arrest a suspect in an old warehouse. He must have heard us because he wasn't where he was supposed to be. We saw him running away and ran after him. Beckett must have tripped and fell. She hit her head. But from what i can tell it's just a small wound. She wasn't unconscious and responded immediately."

Castle was relieved, he let out his breath he wasn't aware he had held.

"We weren't far from a hospital, so i brought her here."

"Alright, so you think she's okay?"

"Yeah the only thing that worries me, is that she didn't object when i told her I would bring her into a hospital for a checkup."

Castle had bad feeling about this. He really hoped it wasn't anything with the baby.

"At which Hospital are you?"

Esposito gave him the name and ended the phone call.

Castle rushed to the hospital as fast as he could. During the drive he tried several times to reach Kate's phone but only got to her voicemail. At the hospital he ran through the ER and ask for Kate on the reception. They told him where to find her.

When he opened the door to the room she was in, he could see her sitting on the hospital bed with her legs over the edge. Kate didn't notice him at first, she was in thought. On her head was a bandage signaling she was hurt.

"Hey?"

She looked up and smiled immediately at his sight. "Hi."

Castle came closer and took her hand in his. "Are you okay?"

She nodded silently. He gave her a soft kiss to her lips before he looked into her eyes.

"Peanut?"

She took a deep breath and nodded again.

"What happened?"

Kate broke their eye contact and tried to explain. "I was chasing our suspect and, I don't know I must have tripped on something. I fell and I hit my head, but it's just a scratch," she pointed to the bandage on her head. She hesitated before she spoke again. Her voice was quieter than before: "But I fell on a stone and I also hit my stomach."

"What?"

She tried to avoid eye contact. Castle knelt in front of her and squeezed her hands softly. "Kate, you said Peanut is okay." It wasn't a question, more a fact.

She pulled her hand from his and lifted her blouse slowly to show him her stomach. There was bruise right next to her belly button. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. Kate tried not to blink so no tears would escape.

Castle put his hand on her stomach gently. "The Doc said everything is okay, right?"

She nodded, "Yeah it's just a bruise but I was so scared, I …"

Kate stopped when he drew closer to her stomach to place a kiss right to the bruise. She could feel his hot breath, when he spoke. "Hey Peanut. You scared Mommy and I today. But you're okay now."

She bit her lip when he stroked the sensitive skin on her abdomen.

"You don't have to worry. Mommy's taking good care of you."

Damn hormones, she thought as a tear started to roll down her cheek. She didn't get a chance to wipe it away. Castle kissed away her tears, right before a nurse came into her room.

"Here are your vitamins Ms. Beckett. You should take them during your pregnancy. Dr. Malcom expects to see you again in two weeks for your next checkup. And maybe you'll see the sex of your baby then, if you want."

Kate nodded silently, afraid the tears will come again if she spoke.

Castle noticed and began to speak. "Thank you very much. We will be here in two weeks."

The nurse said goodbye and left the room again. Kate didn't move. She made no indication that she was ready to leave. It broke Castle's heart to see her like this. He bent down to her stomach again.

"Hey Peanut would you believe that there are male nurses at a hospital?"

Kate looked down at him wondering what he was up to.

"I remember we had a case where we had to investigate in a hospital because the victim was a doctor. It was not this hospital here, so you don't have to worry."

Kate couldn't hide a chuckle. This wasn't unnoticed by Castle and a smile appeared on his lips while he continued telling his story.

"Our suspect was a male nurse. He was very flirtatious with all female doctors, even with your mommy. I didn't like that very much by the way." He glanced up at Kate and saw her smiling back at him, the tears almost gone from her beautiful eyes.

"Will you tell our baby that I was seeing a doctor at the time, too? He saved lifes every day."

He looked back at her stomach and stroked his thump softly over the bruise. "Phew! I can make you waffles every morning and I bet this is way better for you." He grinned broadly back at Kate who could only shake her head, her tears already forgotten and a smile vivid on her lips.

"And you know what Peanut? At the end of this case I was pretty sure your mommy would be mine one day. The male nurse wasn't guilty with the murder, but he had a girlfriend in prison and he helped her to escape. Of course we caught them both. But you know it is true love if you are willing to break someone out of prison, your grandmother told me that one. And your mommy told me right after this case that she would get me out of prison."

Kate tried to remember the case and couldn't hide a smile at the memory. She wasn't sure why he thought of true love because of a prison break but she had her own favorite memory of this case. She remembered that they were sitting at the precinct reading the love letter from the nurse and his girlfriend. Castle was reading some words and he looked right at her while he read "I love you". This look would always be in her mind, because it was very similar to the look he had when they finally were together and he told her he loved her for the first time.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Hmmm?" She looked up from her thoughts. "I love you."

"I love you too Kate." He leaned forward and kissed her. "Are you ready to go home?"

She nodded and took this hand, ready to go home.

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Thank you for reading.  
Please let me know what you think about it. If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask, I will answer.

XD


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you very much for your reviews and interest in my story.

This chapter wasn't really planned this way, it just happened. This time it's Kate who has to talk about something from the past.

Thank you again TappinCastlefan for helping with beta reading.

Enjoy XD

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**Chapter Four**

(two weeks later)

A ringing sound echoed in the apartment. It didn't take long before someone turned it off again. Castle groaned. "It's way too early."

His eyes were still closed, but he could feel Kate's movement in bed. She leaned over him and whispered, "Go back to sleep," before she kissed him softly on his cheek.

Kate went into the bathroom to get a shower. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the hot water. It felt amazing. She was pretty happy with how her pregnancy was going so far. She was now in her second trimester, in the 14th week to be exact. She was one of the lucky women who didn't have to suffer from morning sickness every day in her first trimester.

Kate slowly rubbed soap over her body. She stopped when she felt over her belly. Something was different today. She looked into the mirror and tried to see it but her stomach looked as flat as normal. She stroked over her skin, closing her eyes again. Even if she couldn't see it, she could feel it right away.

The pregnancy was now even more real to her. She thought about the day she found out she was pregnant. It was 2 months ago.

_She had felt sick for some days. Lanie made jokes about her being pregnant but Kate always denied, saying it wasn't possible because they were always careful. _

_On the way home that day she had brought a pregnancy test, just to be sure. She had a strange feeling she couldn't quite put her finger on. Her head told her she couldn't be pregnant, as she had told Lanie, but something inside her made her buy the test anyway. _

_Castle was in his office, the door was closed. He probably didn't notice that she was home already. Kate went into the bathroom as quietly as she could and closed the door behind her. After looking at the test for several minutes, she finally did it. _

_The three minutes waiting were the longest in her life. When they were finally over, it took her another two minutes to look onto the stick. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the blue line. Pregnant._

_Kate slowly left the bathroom, the test in her hand. Castle's office door was still closed. He didn't know that she was home. She wanted to tell him but there was one thing she had to do before. _

_She put the stick in her purse and left the apartment again._

_Twenty minutes later she reached her goal. She usually came here once a week. Unlike today, she always had flowers with her. She stopped on the end of the alley. Like every time she was here she read the inscription on the tombstone: "Johanna Beckett, beloved wife and mother"_

"_Hey, Mom," Kate knelt in front of the stone. _

"_I know I was already here this week, but I have to tell you something. I just found out and I…" For a moment she wasn't sure what she wanted to say. She took a deep breath and continued. "I always thought I would be married first and if not I thought I would be scared, but I'm not. I never would have thought he would be the one but he is. I've never been this happy, Mom. I haven't told him yet, but I will when I'm back home. He will probably be thrilled. He is an amazing dad to Alexis and I have no doubt that he will be an amazing dad again."_

"_I think you would have liked him very much. He challenges me and sometimes it drives me crazy but that is what I need in my life. Castle …" she stopped for a moment, realizing. "… I still call him Castle sometimes. It's a habit and he doesn't mind."_

_Kate thought for a moment. "I'm telling you something I have never told you before. Not that I didn't want to, but I just couldn't back then." Since her mother's dead she always came to talk to her. First she told her about college, then about police academy, about her days as a street cop and she told her proudly when she became a detective. After that she told her mother about her cases and about the man that started shadowing her._

"_When Castle was still following me because of his book research, we had a case with a serial killer, it was pretty tough. We thought we had the guy but we were wrong. I was with the Captain for drinks to celebrate about our closed case, when Martha, Rick's Mother, called me. She said there was something wrong with her son. When she told me why she was worried I knew there was something wrong. And right then I knew we had the wrong guy."_

_At the memory a lonely tear rolled down her cheek. Kate didn't bother wiping it away. _

"_I was so scared that this was it, that I would never see him alive again. As fast as we could we drove to the hotel we knew he and Ryan would be. I just remember jumping out of the car and running as fast as I could to the room. I wasn't thinking because I burst into the room without any backup or safety. I only cared about him, I wanted to see him. I wanted to be sure I wasn't too late."_

_She took a deep breath. "He was still alive. I'm sorry I didn't tell about this before but I really couldn't. It scared me back then that I was so scared about losing him."_

_More tears flooded down her face. She brushed them away as best as she could. "I should go now, Mom. I have to tell him the news. I'm coming back next week, okay? And I will tell you what he said. Goodbye, Mom. I love you." _

_Kate went back to the apartment. When she arrived home Castle's office was still closed. She opened the door slowly. She expected to see him writing but instead he sat in his chair with his legs on his desk, eyes closed. _

_She walked over to him and softly kissed him on the lips. _

_A smile appeared on his face, his eyes still closed. "You shouldn't do that Rachel, my girlfriend will be home soon and she's armed."_

_Kate smacked his arm laughing. He opened his eyes and smiled. "Hi."_

"_Hi." She smiled back. _

"_What's going on? You seem very happy today. Are you feeling better?"_

_She nodded, put her purse on his desk and crawled into his lap. "Yes, I'm better." She said, laying her arms around his neck while he slung his arms around her torso. _

"_That's great." _

"_There is something you should know."_

"_Am I in trouble?"_

"_No." She caressed his cheek softly with her hand. She tried to find the right words. She didn't know how to say it, so she grabbed her purse and took out the pregnancy test. Without a work she handed over the stick. Castle took it and saw the blue line. _

_He smirked at her. "So you are in trouble then?"_

"_I don't know, am I?"_

_He shook his head and kissed her softly. "No never." He tightened his hold on her. His hands wandered to her stomach. Kate looked down and put her hands over his, both smiling. _

_It wasn't planned but they didn't care. They were just happy. _

She loved the memory of that day. She finished her shower and went back into their bedroom. She got dressed and when she was done she leaned over her sleeping boyfriend. She kissed him on his cheek.

"I have to go. I'll try to be free for our doctor's appointment. Are you coming to the precinct?"

"Hmmm."

"See you then." She gave him one last kiss before she left for work.

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Thank you for reading. Reviews are always loved ;)

XD


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